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Bad. where should i start off with... this few days i have been struggling hard finding jobs and doing my website. i'm happy i done my website and have a ease of mind. next, i feel very F^ again. i dunno why. just always happen to do so, and thats the reason why i'm still not sleeping at this point of time. my depression came back again. slightly not too bad. however, i am really so worry about future stuff and things like that. it's never goes off and i know one thing in mind, time is passing every minute and second. things are getting nearer and nearer even if you dont realise. stress up man.

good news, calvin is coming back. i so called manage to stable my bad habit. living good nowadays. there is no more night life like drinking and drunk. i'm feeling more comfortable being alone most of the time and i manage to go out with my parents for breadfast. it's really a very enjoyable thing to me in life. reason because i always have one thing is mind. i'm so lucky to have my parents around and the love from them. they grow me up well and i really treasure them so hell lot. i wish i could be like a child remain like 10 years ago, my dad always piggyback me when i fall asleep in the floor and he will carry me to my bed. my mum will always make bottle milk for me to wake me up. it's like, god, thank you so much. i'm really really so happy. it's really made me dropping my tears. ya. sometimes i always made the mistake to treasure things when i lose them. but now, a clear in mind, i love my parents all the way and i promise i will give them a better living when i'm out for work in the future. i will give them the best that i can. i really wish to hope i can earn a stable income and bring them for retirement and enjoy all around the world. but, i have a perfect dream in mind, a wonderful wife (her), a great parents (my dad & mum), children (hope for a son and daughter) to stay together. WOW. how i wish this could happen right now in reality.

ya. i shall end right here. i'm tired. night. =)

well, today wasnt a good day for me. it's august 11. yup. a very special day to me, i have problems about what i am doing right now. full of arguments and never stop ending. i dunno what to do. i need a true define answer. but i cant find anyone that really able to convinces me with it.

life really tough. i back to that how i used to be 3 mths ago. just that life not that havoc now. i manage to control and stay what i am. no more bad stuff.

alright. i'm sleepy. sucks. night

well, well, well... always using facebook. and the only thing i did was to stalk people and see how other's are now. and, the next thing i always did was, emo, emo, emo. just feeling so F^. it's like, when you look at some things, you will feel how lucky you are when you used to have those. but now it's gone and you will really feel that one word. F^. and guess what, i can only sit right here and suck thumb. i dunno how to explain. nvm, time to isolated and be alone.

justin went in army 4 days ago. jh going in police tml. calvin coming back on 6 of sept. and what am i suppose to do now? i couldn't sleep. i'm totally no mood at all right now. everything seems to be sux up. i'm filled full of frustration, anger, stress right now. Everything changes right from the start. i guess, i still need some time to digest. God. what is my purpose in life? what is the goal i want in life? and what will i get and be in the future? if inception is possible, i wish it could be happen to me.

i shall listen some songs and maybe get to bed soon i guess. F^. night.